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Choice theory pdf

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This document runs to 9 A4 pages so you might prefer to download the pdf One of the core principles of Choice Theory is that, whether we are aware of it or. Choice Theory is based on internal control psychology, rather than external motivation by rewards and punishment. It contends that we always have some. Dr. William Glasser offers a new psychology that, if practiced, could reverse our widespread inability to get along with one another, an inability that is th.


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Choice Theory, developed by Dr. William Glasser, is the explanation of As Dr. Glasser explains in the most recent of his widely read books, Choice Theory, all. Choice Theory is a psychological model that explains why people behave as they do and how we can build positive relationships with the. Introduction to Choice Theory: Teaching Students. Responsible Behavior. A Distance Learning Graduate Course. Based on the Work of Dr. William Glasser.

I do not, and my attitude is that I have nothing useful to contribute on the topic. It is as if conflict arises from very fundamental aspects of how our minds work. When you sign up you will also receive my 30 Tips for bringing mindfulness to your daily life quickly and easily: We all need to eat but I want a steak and you want a pizza. Try this self-compassion exercise.

Self Evaluation Each new behavior must be positive and clearly, 1 Hour 30 minutes understood by the individual. Level 4: Final Stage Session 7: Planning Each plan is designed to be simple, accessible, affordable 1 Hour 30 minutes and measurable. Session 8: Termination Every life must have an end. Initial, Transition, Working, and Final. Each session consists of its own objectives and focuses, as detailed in Table 2 below Ahmad Jazimin et al.

Table 2: Outline the purpose of group counseling. Obtain knowledge and information about the group. Provide early exposure of the group session to its participants Level 1: Introduction and 1. Identify the group members' names and get to know one Relationship Building another. Cultivate an attitude of cooperation and strengthen relationship between the members of the group 3. Understand groups ethics and build regulatory groups.

Session 2: Exploring the Real World 1. Allow group members to identify experiences in the real 1 Hour 30 minutes world.

Allow members to re-live or relate the experience in the present. Stimulate members' to open up in the group. Level 2: Understand the Quality 1. Identify individual relationships between the quality world with basic needs. Session 4: Conflict of Basic Needs 1. Identify conflicts between basic needs and the real world.

Encourage group members to see how they can meet their needs while in the real world. Session 5: Understand Doing And 1. Encourage group members to see which identity their Direction total behaviors are contributing to: Stimulate members to control and address the needs of their total behaviors. Self evaluation 1. Assess new desired behaviors as shared 1 Hour 30 minutes by the group 2. Evaluate treatments that can be implemented. Even the most frightening dictator can never rest — those whom he is trying to control are always liable to rebel.

Similarly, if I think others can control me, and so are to blame for all that goes on in my life, I tend to do nothing effective and again head for frustration. This is not to deny that we can be subjected to violent and coercive situations but while we are alive we have choices even in these situations.

In the worst situations these choices may not be enough to save us or they may be painful or they may be choices we wish we never had to make. For instance a person in an abusive situation may have to choose whether to stay or go, though both choices are painful — there is, nevertheless, a choice and that realisation may empower the person to choose to get away.

Unfortunately, we can get an instant sense of control from alcohol and some other drugs. But our lives are never more out of control than when we are drunk or drugged. There are very few people in this world who ever woke up with a hangover to find that they had fewer problems than they had when they started drinking the night before. Excessive drinking and the use of drugs have to be replaced by doing something else — and that something else has to have a fair chance of getting us what we want in life.

Many people working in the addiction field have found this approach useful. Counselling is often thought to involve delving into the past. Practitioners of Reality Therapy also visit the past but probably to a lesser extent than those who use other therapies — this is not a criticism of those who use other therapies, it is simply a way in which Reality Therapy is different.

In Reality Therapy the past is seen as the source of our wants and of our ways of behaving. Not only are the bad things that happened to us there but our successes are there too. The focus of the practitioner of Reality Therapy is to learn what needs to be learned about the past but to move as quickly as feasible to empowering the client to satisfy his or her needs and wants in the present and in the future.

This is because it is our present perceptions that influence our present behaviour and so it is these perceptions that the Reality Therapy practitioner helps the client to work through. It is very much a therapy of hope, based on the conviction that we are products of the past but we do not have to go on being its victims.

There are many ways to meet our needs for survival, belonging, freedom, fun and power. People differ in how they meet these needs. We all need to eat but I want a steak and you want a pizza. We even differ in the details: I want a government which will pay for social services for people on low incomes; you want a government which will cut welfare and taxes.

To the extent that we can respect the fact that other people — including those nearest and dearest to us — want different things than we want, we can live in harmony. If we cannot respect these differences, then we must live in conflict. For any two people some of the things in their Quality World will overlap i.

We must be willing to allow these differences if we are to have harmony in our relationships. To get what we want, we behave. We are engaging in one behaviour or another from the time we are born to the time we die. But this behaviour has components and when these are put together we can think of them as constituting Total Behaviour. At any time, four things are happening for us: Sometimes these activities work in harmony. For instance, if we are pleased we may be smiling doing , thinking positive thoughts, feeling content and physically relaxed.

If we are angry we may be shouting doing , thinking angry thoughts, feel that we are in a rage and have our hearts beating quickly and our muscles tensed up. Often, the four activities are going in different directions. Your body may be tensed up with heart racing and adrenaline pumping. And what you are doing may be thumbing idly through an out of date copy of Hello! You could say that at any one time we are behaving in each of these four ways: We can call this combination our Total Behaviour.

If we can change one of these, then we have a good chance of changing the others. It is hard to change our feelings directly. It is easier to change what we are thinking and easiest of all to change what we are doing.

So the golden rule is: Which of these leads me from one moment to another? If I am led by my feelings I may be in difficulty: Moreover, if there is something I need to do, it would be a mistake to wait until I feel right about it before I do it.

If I am led, on a moment-to-moment basis, by how I feel, there is a good chance I will never make the call, or that I will postpone it until I am in trouble and cannot put it off any longer. But I can change my focus so that I am purpose-led instead of feelings-led. I am still very aware of my feelings — they are the warm, beating heart of my life — but my purpose is my moment to moment guide and my orientation is towards doing.

With the phone call made, I — hopefully — feel relief, a return of energy, perhaps even a little elation. Paradoxically, by focusing on what I can do rather than on what I feel, I arrive at a point where my feelings become pleasant and positive. Sometimes the good feeling takes longer to arrive.

But I will get there, if I have the courage to keep working at it — and it will help greatly if I have friends to help me along the way. This raises an important point about the things we want: Sometimes I cannot move ahead unless I change what I want. For a time, part of the pain I am in comes from wanting something I can never have or can never have again.

This wanting and this pain is part of grieving. But eventully, to be able to get on with my life, I must be willing to give more of my attention to other needs and wants in my life.

This is so even though when I start to do this I will still be in pain.

Theory pdf choice

It is a bit like taking a picture and moving it to the back of your album instead of keeping it at the front. So in order to bring about change in our lives, we must do something different or change what we want. If I want to be a good athlete but I spend my mornings in bed, I must change what I do — get up and start running instead of snoozing — or change what I want — perhaps decide that what I really want out of life is to be a couch potato.

We can also change what we think and this is helpful but sometimes our emotions are so strong — with grief or depression for instance — that all we can change is what we do, and our thoughts have to follow afterwards.

We try to control ourselves, people and situations to meet our needs or to get what we want. Everybody needs a certain amount of control to meet their needs for power, belonging, freedom and fun. You need a certain amount of control but so does your partner. The boss needs a certain amount of control but so does the worker. The parent needs a certain amount of control but so does the child. When people fail to recognise that the other person also has a need for control, the stage is set for conflict.

If, however, we are willing to negotiate and compromise we can find ways to cooperate and create a better life. Sometimes we ask for what we want. This respects the sense of control of both parties. Sometimes instead of asking, we demand what we want. Control is all around us. Here are two examples: A better way to control that situation might be to talk to my boss or my union or to look for another job. If I buy a lottery ticket I am trying to exercise a little bit of control over my future, however poor the chances of winning.

I might achieve the same objective, more surely, if I put money into a savings account or pension plan. Regardless of how we feel we almost always have some control over what we do. If you do something that is better than what you are doing now, there is a good chance that your thoughts and feelings will also change in a more positive direction, even though the change may not come straight away.

It is hard to change our feelings directly. It is easier to change what we are thinking and easiest of all to change what we are doing. So the golden rule is: Which of these leads me from one moment to another? If I am led by my feelings I may be in difficulty: Moreover, if there is something I need to do, it would be a mistake to wait until I feel right about it before I do it.

If I am led, on a moment-to-moment basis, by how I feel, there is a good chance I will never make the call, or that I will postpone it until I am in trouble and cannot put it off any longer. But I can change my focus so that I am purpose-led instead of feelings-led. I am still very aware of my feelings — they are the warm, beating heart of my life — but my purpose is my moment to moment guide and my orientation is towards doing.

With the phone call made, I — hopefully — feel relief, a return of energy, perhaps even a little elation. Paradoxically, by focusing on what I can do rather than on what I feel, I arrive at a point where my feelings become pleasant and positive.

Sometimes the good feeling takes longer to arrive. But I will get there, if I have the courage to keep working at it — and it will help greatly if I have friends to help me along the way.

Little Guide to Dr William Glasser’s Choice Theory and Reality Therapy

This raises an important point about the things we want: Sometimes I cannot move ahead unless I change what I want. For a time, part of the pain I am in comes from wanting something I can never have or can never have again. This wanting and this pain is part of grieving. But eventully, to be able to get on with my life, I must be willing to give more of my attention to other needs and wants in my life. This is so even though when I start to do this I will still be in pain.

It is a bit like taking a picture and moving it to the back of your album instead of keeping it at the front. So in order to bring about change in our lives, we must do something different or change what we want. If I want to be a good athlete but I spend my mornings in bed, I must change what I do — get up and start running instead of snoozing — or change what I want — perhaps decide that what I really want out of life is to be a couch potato. We can also change what we think and this is helpful but sometimes our emotions are so strong — with grief or depression for instance — that all we can change is what we do, and our thoughts have to follow afterwards.

We try to control ourselves, people and situations to meet our needs or to get what we want. Everybody needs a certain amount of control to meet their needs for power, belonging, freedom and fun.

You need a certain amount of control but so does your partner. The boss needs a certain amount of control but so does the worker. The parent needs a certain amount of control but so does the child. When people fail to recognise that the other person also has a need for control, the stage is set for conflict. If, however, we are willing to negotiate and compromise we can find ways to cooperate and create a better life.

Sometimes we ask for what we want.

Pdf choice theory

This respects the sense of control of both parties. Sometimes instead of asking, we demand what we want. Control is all around us. Here are two examples: A better way to control that situation might be to talk to my boss or my union or to look for another job. If I buy a lottery ticket I am trying to exercise a little bit of control over my future, however poor the chances of winning.

I might achieve the same objective, more surely, if I put money into a savings account or pension plan. Regardless of how we feel we almost always have some control over what we do. If you do something that is better than what you are doing now, there is a good chance that your thoughts and feelings will also change in a more positive direction, even though the change may not come straight away.

People seem to fight over everything from how a country should be governed to how the living room should be decorated. It is as if conflict arises from very fundamental aspects of how our minds work.

Some causes of conflict, from the point of view of Choice Theory and Reality Therapy, are these:. Satisfying our fundamental needs. Satisfying my need for power will bring me into conflict with other people who have an equally strong need for power.

Little Guide to Dr William Glasser’s Choice Theory and Reality Therapy

Satisfying my need for freedom will bring me into conflict with people who have a strong need for power or belonging in the case of belonging I may be mistreating a loved one by indulging my need for freedom.

Satisfying my need for fun may bring me into conflict with other people too. Generally speaking, conflicts can be thought of as true or false. A true conflict has no satisfactory solution, at least in the short term. In a true conflict there is no single solution which will satisfy both sides. In a false conflict there is a solution, often tough and unpalatable, which will resolve the issue.

Mary insists that she wants to live in Dublin, John insists that he wants to live in London. Neither is willing to live anywhere outside of one of these cities. This is a true conflict. There is no solution which will satisfy both.

Theory pdf choice

How might they handle this conflict? Here are some possibilities good and bad, satisfying and unsatisfying, from the perspective of Reality Therapy and Choice Theory: Keep the conflict going. One way is to keep the conflict going for a long time. This could include fighting, threatening, coaxing, sulking resenting, depressing getting depressed , getting sick or drinking to name but a few.

This may be ineffective and painful and could destroy the relationship. Turn it over to time. In other words, postpone a decision and get on with doing things which both find meet their needs.

The things which meet their needs may not be the same for each of them — what matters is that each can put his or her energies into satisfying activities in which they are not in conflict, while postponing a decision on the major conflict.

Perhaps Mary wants to do an evening course which will take three months. Perhaps John wants to join a health club and get into shape. The world never stands still and something may happen in the meantime to resolve the situation that they are most in conflict about — which city to live in. Try it and see.

A third approach is to agree to try one solution for a time and then to assess whether it is acceptable to both parties.

So John might agree that they will live in Dublin for four months and then look at the situation again. This approach is common in industrial relations — usually where the union agrees to try out a new work arrangement and the management agrees to a joint review after six months or a year. Grieving over someone who has died or over a relationship which has irrevocably ended or over a situation which has changed for the worse perhaps children grieving because their parents have split up is an example of a true conflict.

There is a conflict between wanting the old situation and having to live in the new. There is no immediate solution which will resolve the conflict in a satisfactory way. Only time, and doing other things which are satisfying, will heal the grief. There is no true conflict between maintaining my weight at its present level and eating all I like — so long as I am willing to run many miles a day. There is no true conflict between working and studying for a degree — so long as I am prepared to spend my evenings studying and my money on fees instead of other things.

If there is a single behaviour which would resolve it, then the conflict is a false conflict. Perhaps we stay because we are afraid of failure if we try to go it alone, or for the sake of someone else caught in the same bad relationship or because we need the money to educate our children.