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How to Win Friends and Influence People was first published in in an edition of only five thousand copies. Neither Dale Carnegie nor the publishers, Simon. How to Feed Friends and Influence People: The Carnegie Deli, A Giant Sandwich, a Little Deli, a Huge Success · Read more. Editorial Reviews. caite.info Review. This grandfather of all people-skills books was first How To Win Friends and Influence People by [Carnegie, Dale].
Join 45, other people and receive book summaries and productivity advice every week. Carnegie encourages us to always be sympathetic to other peoples ideas, feelings and desires. Instead, always make your appreciation sincere. Remember their names, which will make them feel valued. In order to future a relationship, you have to go above and beyond for other people. Carnegie says people love the sound of their name more than any other sound in the world.
Check this article for an example on saving face or this video:.
If you want people to keep improving, give them praise for every improvement. He will feel good for doing well and will be motivated to keep going. Carnegie is basically suggesting here to use positive reinforcement in what in psychology is known as operant conditioning. Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise Click To Tweet. When you give people a good reputation the tendency is to act in accordance with that reputation.
Identity drives behavior , so when people start liking and believing in a new identity, they will act accordingly.
If a task seems too big or if people feel like they are far too unskilled to accomplish it, they will lose heart and fail to act. Encourage them instead, build up their ego. And make the effort seem within their grasp. Then they will be motivated to act. When you want someone to do something, make them feel happy and proud of the task at hand.
Tell them their rare skills and talent make them the best fit for the job. This section was included in the original book but not in the revised version. It could indeed be easily summarized as saying that all previous principles apply to your relationship as well. The most interesting for me were:. Appreciate More Most of us would do great in remembering this very simple advise: Carnegie first tells the examples, and then gives readers the principle.
Keep in mind though that the highest achievers appreciate the truth too. Even if it might hurt them at the beginning, they want people who can tell it as it is. As Ray Dalio says, for top achievement you must love the truth even it hurts.
I encourage you to take care of what you build your self esteem around. Read my article on how to build an antifragile ego. Make sure you use these techniques because you care about people or because you want to achieve certain results. How to Win Friends and Influence People presents great and timeless social advice.
Get the book Check more great books to read or make friends and get this timeless book on Amazon.
The author is a sociologist M. An avid reader with an endless thirst for wisdom, he built the web's biggest repository of free book summaries and reviews. If you want to do more, learn more and be more, this is your place. Join the movement.
You must be logged in to post a comment. Dale Carnegie Genre: Simon and Schuster Release Date: Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation Principle 3: Smile Principle 3: Remember Their Names Principle 4: Be a Good Listener Principle 5: Talk in Terms of His Interests Principle 6: Begin in a Friendly Way Principle 5: Let Him do a great deal of the talking Principle 7: Appeal to The Nobler Motives Principle To them, these are precious.
Make them feel not alone. And be sincere. Innocent until proven guilty as they say!
With the media saturation we are now used to, with TV, movies etc. Carnegie encourages us to expand upon the truth, make it dramatic, vivid and interesting, act as if you are telling a wonderful story.
Make everyone visualise what you're trying to sell. The twelfth principle of Carnegie's tips to get people to win people into your way of thinking is to throw down a challenge. As humans, we have a love for the game, for competition, for a challenge, a chance to prove ourselves.
The chance to prove his or her worth, to excel, to win.
That is what makes foot-races and hog-calling and pie-eating contests. The desire to excel. The desire for a feeling of importance. The 9 key principles he covers are:. Begin an interaction with praise and honest appreciation. It will immediately give the other person a sense of pride and newfound confidence. They will be warmed to you and more willing to take on what you are about to suggest. The patient still gets a drilling, but the Novocain is pain-killing.
If you can be indirect when discussing a mistake, a person who is sensitive will accept it better and learn. Direct criticism works on some people, but the majority of us are too afraid to hear this. We are all human, and no one on this earth has ever been perfect. Carnegie believes that this will be a successful approach in convincing someone to change their behaviour.
But Carnegie explains that in order to actually get people to accelerate their work, explaining a situation to your staff and asking them what they think is the best way to deal with it is a better approach. People respond better when they feel good about themselves, and this is why Carnegie encourages you to praise even the slightest improvement and ensure that every improvement is recognised appropriately.
If you and I will inspire the people with whom we come in contact with a realization of the hidden treasures they possess, we can do far more than change people. We can literally transform them. But by praising someone, you are using your power to lift them up, build their confidence and give them the ability to work harder and better.
People are able to work to their full potential if they feel recognised and appreciated. Carnegie encourages you to give people a fine reputation to look up to. Give people a reason to look up to you, give them the desire to want to live up to your reputation. Carnegie explains that in the situation that someone you are dealing with has done something dumb or stupid, you should never directly tell them that.
This is only going to destroy their desire to improve. This way, they will feel supported and encouraged and will go above and beyond to fix the situation. The last principle from Carnegie encourages you to make the other person feel happy about doing something.
If they are happy to do it, then they are more likely to actually proceed and to do a really good job. Get them excited about it, inspire a little passion in them so they can approach a task with happiness and a drive to do well.
This book is ideal for anyone who leads, whether it be a small team, an entire organisation, a community or a family. Simon emphasises that when an environment is built on trust, teams will work together, have each other's backs, survive and thrive. These relationships can be used to open up new doors and opportunities, achieve great success and reach your goals. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. A good way to start is to admit that you could be mistaken.
Appeal to the nobler motives. Even if deep down they make the decision based on the baser ones. Everyone wants to be the hero of their own story.
Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. The ability to speak is a shortcut to distinction. It puts a person in the limelight, raises one head and shoulders above the crowd. And the person who can speak acceptably is usually given credit for an ability out of all proportion to what he or she really possesses. Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself.