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Rivers of blood were flooding the deck and there was a dreadful smell of a mixture of wind, salt, sea, mag- nolias in blossom and cattle and murder. She is also a part lime language tutor, a translator and an aspiring a uthor. On his earlier trips lo the Hellespont, the site of the original myth, Radaca and his fellow sanlir players learned to play the song of Hero and Leander, and someone, as a lip, once threw into Radaca's instrument a small cameo of Hero. Havlicek did not give up and in May of moved to Kutna Hora and put out the first issue of a new paper. Tofija misli:
Prvo izdanje: Crnjanski, Seobe i Druga knjiga Seoba. Preuzmite rad: Pismenik, Politike moi u nedavnoj istoriji, a u njoj je Crnjanski poprilino igosan. Prvi dio se pojavljuje Medjuratnaknjizevnost - Milos Crnjanski Dnevnik o arnojeviu. Gagiarko22 Convert your image to TIFF with this free online image converter. Create and share content with the help of a comprehensive se. Pdf to tiff - Save Pdf files to multipage tiff images for free online. Step 1: Share this page. In the office or at home who have aregular need to convert files to TIFF for archiving, sharing, or faxing.
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What is the best way to do this? If there is an SDK or something or a. Currently using xpdf but as I. Looking for a good and free pdf to tiff converter. With the best PDF Converter you can convert to just about any file. Dont forget to check out our site http: W lls, h e said to his wife, later. Surely the man must have a nose. It is me who should have gone Lo face the Englishman. You had duels, you foul, for women, for nothing, for a dream, but your oponenls cou ld shot you like a rabbit, and you c rtainly do not know how to defend your own life.
He, first of all, once more gave major Ridley a short outline on his country and the Serbs, who they are, how Yugoslavia was born, how they rose unexpectedly against Hit- ler at the hight of his power and how they came to London, with King Peter. Ridley, digging in his papers was lifting sometimes his head and was kindness itself interrupting. At last, he told Ridley, how he is wailing for a permit to work in Britain, to find some work in London, how he is now for two years already with no occupation.
The major then says it is entirely the fault of King Peter. He, Jegaly, did hand over to Tito 25 and Britain is not obliged now, not at all, to settle his diplomats in London.
The major then reads a long list of names of diplomats of King Peter, now asking him for some work, some job. All are ending in a silly suffix which is ich or wich, Milanovich, Popovich, Nikolich, Gavrilovich, Sawich, Miroshew- ich, Avakoumovich. The major is, too getting somehow angry. About the pronounciation. How many of them, he asks, really mean to stay in London. Was this one, or was he not, a man of Prince Paul? And in Croatia?
At last, what about Tito? Will he stay? Ridley has a list of fourteen former diplomats of King Peter in London. They are now not better than "displaced persons". Without money. His visitor says, angrily - "Oh no. We are your Allies, ar'nt we? We entered the war willingly - you stood alone.
We had diplomatic immunity in London by a Parliamentary decision. If not a displaced person, he is now certainly a private person in London and has to earn by hard work his living - but Great Britain needs no emigrants, now, it needs plumbers, builders, miners.
By the mention of plumbers his visitor gels red. He absolutely agrees, it is some job, some work he docs want, he is quite prepeared 28 to be a plumber. Meanwhile, major Ridley is loudly spelling the names from the list, asking, from lime to lime: What funny nam s they are.
Ich- wich, all ending, in: Such names are slill in usc on I land, you see. Besides , there is nothing t lau gh about that. The son of John - in England too - has been Johns n. Ja kson. Milan's son is there fore Milanovich. G org 's son eorgew - ich. Like the Greeks in the Troyan war. Then the R is a woveP 9 It is a wove] only in prehistoric Egiptian, in the hyerologlyphes and unforlunalely, in Serbian. Therefore Si-ar-en-jej-e-en-kej-es-kej-i.
Why do you not exchange it? There is no man in Britain able to pronounce that and, really, you an't ask for that. Jo fn 01 y country, at last, it has a flavour like Shelleys, or Keats', in England. My father did stick to it and so will I. I could not do that " "Excuse me" - says Ridley - "but wilh such a name it wont b easy.
Now, how am I now to turn them to be good hairdressers, carpenters and so on. This Mirosh - evich, they say, is a count. They were titled in Venice. The people remained and fought for five hundred years. The bloody fouls, only to be called, the Gardians of the Gate, now in London.
When the English fleet entered the Adriatic, in , a Bona had volunters against Marmont, marshal of Napoleon. Then, you see, the war is now over. We are here closing down.
You should, perhaps, go to the Labour Exchange in Chadwick street. You must pronounce it as a wovel. For example: The major's spectacles now are becoming icy.
He beginns to smatter. My books had the price of the Royal Academy in Belgrade. Betrayed by his kindly words, now, his visitor is, for a moment, full of hope.
He says he would be glad, in London, or anywhere, in Britain, to become a teacher - but he would go to be a postman, to the Orkneys for example, anywhere. In despair he mentiones the bad cough of his wife, in Finchley. Js Major Ridley is now out for the kill. He says: Has he, he means the visitor, really no money, any help from the Embassy? Do they really not receive any money from Tito, at all? Ridley says that as if speaking of pocketmoney from a mother.
His visitor now knows the game is over. He is getting pale as a sheet and there is no answer. Bogdan Rakic 46 Major Ridley now is conducting kindly his visitor to the door. Every day, others, the Poles, for example, hav found so me- thing suitable. If you find something, please, orne and sec me again. I will help you to gel the job. In the waiting room, there is only one table and a hair. On the table, there is a book, a ledger of what they are calling: For a moment, the visitor of major Ridley makes a gesture to all back the major.
To reffer perhaps, to his coming to I ondon. The Serbs, alone, entered, willingly, the war. Five years ago they had an other reception in London, a different one.
London was burning then, when they have chosen to come to Lond n. Not one he stayed away. He first stayed in The Park Lane hotel. J9 For his money he could certainly have an olh r place, but he was. He lived above Lhe p lrol station for years, sheller, or no shelter. The waiting room in York House is on the fifth floor. The window is open. There is an abyss down in the yard some eighty feet below the room of major Ridley. It needs only a step from the window and the end is certain.
No more awaking without country, without money, no more hunger. A short notice would perhaps appear in the papers. The balance of his mind, they would say, was disturbed. As so many foreigners before, major Ridley's visitor too is puzzled by this in- sisting of the English that a man who chooses death must first go insane.
Anyhow, perhaps, no news about that would be published at all. One of his collegues, indeed, as he had told his wife, shot himself, those days and the news were supressed in the British Press by a kindly censor. One jump, an explosion of pain in the brain but for less than a minute. Then, silence, sleep, for ever. The voice, strangely enough, belongs to his wife, in f! H makes a step nearer- but then the same voice changes colour, slress, intonation.
I am getting old, helpless, do not leave me alone. I have nobody here, in this foreign country. An old, poor woman, alone, how dreadful. Have you not seen them in London. To be a dog, a cat, here, is better. I will make my dolls every night and try to sell them. He would never do it, he said, but for his wife - the scoundrel. Let us see, at Birmingham, a barber's shop is in search of a junior. The county Council in Banbury needs a veterinary. In Reading they are desperate to get a chimney sweeper.
For a moment he is imagining himself in the barber's shop at Birmingham. There, perhaps, there is still some coal left and a fire. It is warm. Then there is this advertisement for a junior, but it is silly to think of it and he leaves it. Finally, he is quite sure, he could have been an excellent chimney sweeper - second to none - but he is now fifty three and no match for chimneys in Britain.
It would have been nice but he is too old for it. Well, what about to be veterinary in Reading? Reading, Reading - let us see, it seems so familiar. When someone has nothing to do thoughts are swarming away, like swalows before the rain.
Yes, Reading, he got it. Forty years ago, he was laking English lessons in a far away coun- try, because his mother wanted it, though it was expensive.
On the Continent English lessons are very expensive and all sorts of people lakes to teaching English, because nobody knows il and il brings easy money. He had a legless teacher, that is to say one who lost his legs in a railway accident and had on something to live on. With a plaid put over his knees.
Janosh cryed "next". The first book he had to read with the teacher was the ballade of Oscar Wilde. The teacher used to say his method is to go "in medias res", right in the matter.
A silly chap this teacher must have been, because he, the teacher, granted il, he, the pupil, is speaking an excellent English, after a year. Then school, his school, made a holiday excursion and, in Fiume, saw the first Cunard Liner, that is to say the first English ship he boarded, being then thirteen. It was the "Carpathia". There was an inscript: It was a terrible disappointment, after. As early as that he became aquainted with the red coat of the Irish Guard, and the English prison, the scrubbing of the floor and to roar the Hymn.
He never intended to come and live in England and now, strange it is, he will leave it, never. This red coat of the Guards, was it incidentally a premonilion? Later, being already in diplomatic service, he saw them in occupied Germany, after the first war, in the Kursaal of Wiesbaden.
They never mixed with the native population. All the mistresses of the officers came over from England. How proud. Then he felt ashamed, he has no idea whatsoever, about the blood-circulation of oxen, neither could he help, at: Disasters could not be foreseen, foretold, change, bad luck came so suddenly. Now, let us see, just remember. It happened after difficult and long, diplomatic discussion and -they had embarked fifty oxen in Dalmatia.
He could still hear the wind and feel the heavy seas and the oxen. The cattle on the deck was moved like children on a swingboat up and down, up and down, to the right, to the left, to the right, to the left.
The oxen were lifted from the deck by the terrible force and then tossed down on their knees. Down, on their knees. More and more of them could not rise. They had their legs, bracken. There was a veterinary on board.
Now, when cattle has legs bracken they must be slaughtered quickly and that precisely was what they wanted all to do, to help in a confusion. The ship turned in a slaugh- terhouse, after an ample distribution of brandy, some sort of an hor- rible, slavonic plum-brandy. The veterinary and four cattlebreaders embarked to be present at the solemn occasion acted perhaps badly but did their work quickly.
Rivers of blood were flooding the deck and there was a dreadful smell of a mixture of wind, salt, sea, mag- nolias in blossom and cattle and murder. Here he is now, in Britain, not in diplomatic discussion, but dreaming to go to Banbury and catch a veterinary's job.
Life changed and his legless teacher, and his legless oxen, are now far away, for ever. They are no more. The fortunes of men are changing but could he ever dream how difficult is to have a change of occupation? At last, with a bracken heart, and will, he beginns to read the ledger of "occupations vacant", without any hope, making no sense at all.
He just reads it, with his mind far away. As a matter of fact he is not interested in that ledger at all. His mind and his memory turned back on other books, in Finchley.
Books left at his bedside, books which he is reading every evening and all the day along, sitting at the window,. First there seems to be a voice, speaking not as the thunder of falling oxen, but with a calm, friendly, strange language, of an old man.
Is it Socrates who speaks to him from his books in Finchley? Is he speaking for the last lime, to his judges, and the mass of the people? You are turning home to the town and I am going to death, but who should be re- garded as happier, who knows? Then, louder, it seems to be heard like a thunder a voice crying louder, through his forehead so to say, causing him no little pain. Bogdan Rakic 50 Is it the Etna which speaks, or are they lin s from Pind ar?
He sees the volcano rising, snowbound, rosy, as he looked o. Is it not the old clock in Finch! He is helplessly strugling to get up from that chair.
His legs are cold and heavy. Then, once more, there is a wild, triumphant force in th o returning conscience, his mind is now working precisely and he remembers exactly some lines he liked so much and studied this morning, just before arriving at Kingsway. So, so, break off this last lamenting kiss, Which sucks two souls and vapours both away.
He is ashamed for his weakness and full of wish to get out of this room, of this poverty, such life, to save himself and to live. Proudly he cries to himself: She looks astounded at this man who makes a speach alone in a room, standing there like a statue with a menacing arm, looking wildly and shaking his long, gray hair.
With her brushes, her sweeper and a dustbin in the hands she is rather at a loss what to say. Downstairs, ashamed, he stops for a moment at the porter and, at last, asks how to go to Chadwick street, but does not listen to the porter at all.
On the street he actually had in mind to go home, but then strolling along, crossing and recrossing, he says: Nolit, According to Crnjan- ski's own account, he began to write the novel in see Vladimir Bunjac, Dnevnik o Crnjanskom [Beograd: BJGZ, ]. Grafos, ]. However, having in mind the autobiograph- ica l material from these early versions, and the mentioned events, it seems impossible that "the novel was then prepared for publication" ibid.
Sfairos, , However, the second draft of the MS has a slightly different title, London and the Schoemakers [sic]. Svet- lost, ], The final titl e The Novel of London is mentioned for the first time in see Orenovac, Pisci govore, 60 , but it should be noted that the third draft of the MS bears the same name.
Discussing the subject matter of different versions, Crnjanski said that "tho message of the 'Shoemakers' was perso nal," as the work included a lot of autobiographical material Dimitrijevic, "Ova susreta s Milosem Crnjanskim", 19 , The Mexican Scull dealt with "the contemporary enslavement of man by money" Todorovic, Rec imaju pisci sveta, These changes are also stressed by Crnjanski's insistence that he had "retyped the manuscript five times" Bunjac, Dnevnik o Crnjonskom, Slovo ljubve, , Bogdan Rakic 52 17 Ibid.
Ilo su o dod his father Alexander I, after his assassination in Marseille in During World War ll, Peter established a govornmont-in-exilo in London, in which Crnjan ki h lei the minor official position of councillor.
Wells's The Invisible Man Luckily for Crnjanski, Sondermaj r app arod to be a better pilot than a marksman. According to Crnjanski's biographer. Rodovan Po- povic, he retained this habit of settling disputes while sojourning in London. Pros- veta, ]. After World War II, Tito emerged as tho leader of the new federal government, seizing power in the ountry, and dismissing the roy a list followers of King Peter.
All of thorn refused tor turn to Yugoslavia after the war was over. In his dealings with th e Axis powers. Paul endeavoured to maintain Yugoslavia's neutral position, thus opposing British ambitions to draw his country into the war. Under German pressure, however, tho Yugoslav government signed the Tripartite Pact on 25 March , which led to the British backed coup d'etat in Belgrade, in which the Regency was overthrown and Prince Paul expelled and detained by the British in Kenya.
Although the issue seems very dubious today see N. Balfour and S. Hamilton, ] , Paul was accused of being a fascist and pro-Nazi for a long lime in England. This opinion was supported both in political and intellectual circles, by Winston Churchill and Rebecca West, among others.
During his early Londou years, Crnjanski was under suspicion of allegedly being a supporter of Prince PauL 26 Crn janski repeatedly misspells to prepare as to prepeare. Prince Lazar was the commander of the Serbian armies. Both of them were killed in the battle. The Serbia: He was the military commander of Dalmatia in , and from he ac ted as the French governor of the Illyrian Provinces , the capital of which was in Ljubljana.
However, the more appro- priate English translation for the title of his novel Seobe would be Migrations. Nether Street is also mentioned earlier in the MS. Talking about his and his wife's short stay at tho Park Lane Hotel, Crnjanski writes: When our wives once suggested that we should go down to the shelter, he leaned towards us and said with a smile: Nolit, , The poem was known in Yugoslav. Napredak, l]. In his preface to Wilde's The Picture?
Noht, ]. There, the bizzare Hungarian language teacher is replaced by an ordinary governess, whose Britishness is empha- sised by the "Scotch plaid, covering her legs" Crnjanski, Roman 0 Londonu, l It is true that Rjepnin took his English lessons as often as Crnjanski did. The whole episode, then, may be built upon these early recollections.
That IS, the whole eptsode describing the early visit to the Carpathia is distantly reflected only through Rjcpnin's recollections of "English soap, [his] father liked" Crnjanski, Roman a Londonu, 70!
Jt should be added that this detail doesn't occur in the chapter d. Nolit, l]. This episode, then, can be taken as another illustration of the process through which Crnjanski changes facts into fiction in his works. Crnjanski quotes Stojadinovic's words: I to die, and you to live. Which is better is known to God and only to him" R. Livingstone, ed. Claredon Press, Prosveta, Matica srpska, Mladost, Svjetlost, ]. II, These are the opening lines of John Donne's "The Expiration". Andric was known as a man who appreciated the value of his money.
On the central square in Lisbon there was a book-fair.
The day of the books. The greates t Portugese poet died there, not having a single blanket to cover himself, which even the poorest Portugese owns.
By the end of his life, Crnjanski wrote an essay on Camoes. If the con- tents of art works can be indefinitely diverse, so should be their forms. Postmodernism Look up this challenge and Milorad Pavic re- sponded to it avidly. With every new novel, Pavic offers his reader a strikingly original form. After The DictionOJy of the Khazars, , a novel in the form of a lexicon, after The Landscape Painted with Tea, , which was a novel in the form of a cross-word puzzle, PaviC's new novel, The Inner Side of the Wind or the Novel of Hero and Leander, , is a novel in the form of a clepsydra, the ancient water instrument which measures time.
It has two front covers. It is divided in two parts or rather it consists of two novels printed up- side down with a blue blank page in between the halves. It imme- diately presents a dilemma to the reader and he has to decide whether to read il from front Lo back or from back to front. The author himself shed light on the form he chose. In a recent interview, commen ting on the evolution of the genre of the novel, Pavic said: You can go around il, look at it from the front, from the back, or from the garden behind il.
Inside il you can be surprised by a sea". Il has lwo entrances and in its inner court is a sea. From the outside one cannol believe that there is room for an entire sea, yel "each reader is going lo make the size of the sea correspond lo his ability to swim in iL. The book is modeled on the ancient myth of Hero and Leander, the ill-fated lovers divided by the sea. In the ancient myth Leander nightly swims the Helles- pont, and guided by the light from Hero's Lower, finds his lover, until one stormy night Hero's torch gels extinguished and without the guiding light Leander drowns.
Separated by the sea th ey ar ultimately united in death. However, Pavic's Hero and Leander a re divided by th e and more years which separate the ir deaths. PaviC's novel toll s of two Belgrade lovers, one from the turn of the 18th cen tury a nd th e other from the 20th century, who reach for each other ov r th e gulf of time. The sea in The Inner Side of the Wind is that blu page in the middle of the book.
PaviC's new novel consists of two chronologically a nd ompos i- tionally divided parts, two entrances in Pavic's fashion, a male and a female one. The novel has two currents which run in th e opposite direction, and their ends meet in the middl e.
As in the clepsydra, the content of one novel flows into another and it is left to the reader to constitute the whole. Radaca Cihoric, hero of the Leander part of th e nov I, is a sa ntir player and monk, but also a builder from a long line f masons. In the turbulent times of the Ottoman push into Europe in th 18th century, while those fleeing the advancing Turkish army destroy and burn everything behind them, Rada ca, in a seemingly perver e ac- tion, frantically builds.
He constructs a series of small c hurches and in doing so leaves secret messages in his hol! He dies th e d ea th foreseen for Hero and in doing so proves what h e believed all along, tha t "co ntact after all was possible". The protagonist of the Hero part of the novel, Heroncja Dukur, is a chemistry student at the Univers ity of Belgrade. She is also a part lime language tutor, a translator and an aspiring a uthor. A di stant forerunner of loday's novelists, Heroneja plants secre tly her own stories about migrations of souls inside tra nslation s she is co mmis- sioned to do.
When her brothe r seduces h er lover, Heroneja moves to Prague where she is kill ed in an explosion. At the mom ent of h er death she sees a swordsman, Lea nder's executioner. Heron eja too believed that "the contact was, after all, possible". Adorno pointed out the paradox facing modern novelists when he wrote: While the key characteristic of Pavic's poetics remains the fantastical, The Inner Side of the Wind, unlike other novels by Pavic, does not emphasize this dimension.
Rather, it equally foregrounds the story. Linked directly to the ancient myth of ill-fated lovers, more than just a fantastic story The Inner Side of the Wind is a love story which the reader discovers only after com- pleting both halves of the novel. However, The Inner Side of the Wind is not only a love story either. It contains universal and philosophical themes. Pavic uses the metaphor of the inner side of the wind to underscore two kinds of relationships, two kinds of prophecies and prophets, the expen- sive one who can foretell only the immediate future, and the cheap one who looks far ahead into the future.
This prophet likens the long-range prophecies with the wind, the inner side of which re- mains dry when the wind blows through the rain. The prophecies are used to connect the two lovers. In resurrecting the old myth, Pavic also connects different centuries and continents and gives the old myth relevance for today.
Postmodernist fiction stresses that it is impossible to articulate exactly the external boundaries of narrative, to define its topos.
In postmodernist fiction, space is seen as discontinuous and heterog- enous. Rather than to speak of a world, postmodernists prefer to refer to it as zone. Michel Foucault calls the space that a postmod- ernist novel inhabits a heterotopia, "the disorder in which fragments of possible orders gliller separately". In answering the question: Geographically, that is the Danubian plain and the Morava valley with Belgrade in its center but also further North, East and South, all the way to Mount Athos, the center of Orthodox spirituality, and the Hellespont.
Against that backdrop are juxtaposed two great tradilions, the Roman and the Byzantine, separated by a limited space, a frontier. This postmodernisl heterotopia, this dualism Easl-West which runs through Serbian cultural space, fascinates and inspires Pavic. He conceives of this frontier not so much as a physi al space but more as a stale of mind. The Inner S1de of the WJnd reflects repeated d1sruptwn of a geo- graphical region, a displacement of large masses of population which is very disturbing.
Podsmeh, a ne hrana. Zamalo mu nije razderao grlo. Mrmljao je sebi u bradu: Ipak, nije sasvim izgubio nadu. Jedino taj, poslednji. Okupala ga je, nahranila, napojila, obukla u pokojnikova odela. To se desilo koji mesec docnije. Iskoristio si me, upropastio si me. Prokleta da je moja dobrota. Trljao je udrvenjene ruke i gladio prljavu bradu: Na uskim prtinama grubo su se gurali zimski kaputi sa podignutim kragnama. Izgledalo je da negde u daljini brundaju kamioni. Refuz mrtvak 57 — Kuc, kuc, Care.
I doista su se otvorila. Procvileo je prozeblim glasom: Bilo je mnogo takvih ucveljenih. A sneg, koji je ponovo vejao odasvud, zatrpao je uskoro i krte zvuke crkvenog zvona. Tofija luta. Toplo je napolju. Rosa te hladi. Rumeno, belo, modro, crno. Vatren je i nespretan gluvonemi. Znaju to i kuvarice.
Tofija misli: Tofija zna: Na Tofijinoj crvenoj cicanoj haljini skorele su se bljuvotine kao tanke krive svilene trake. Prohladno je u kafani. Vire mu ukoso izrasli sitni zubi. Refuz mrtvak 63 — Dobrrr!
Nema ga na klupama u parku. Luta Tofija poljem. Toplo je, toplo. Svetlo, mirisno, sanjivo. Zora belasa kao magla.
Poneki svrati Tofiji u grmlje, dok se ostali klibere: Dronjava je Tofijina haljina, podrpana. Tofija legne na zemlju, pokrije se nebom, rosa je hladi, rosa je umiva. Toliko bi joj bilo do- Refuz mrtvak 67 voljno, a sve preko toga Tofija gleda pravo u zid: Bolje je spavati na zemlji koja i hladi i greje, ta ogromna crna lopta.
Skinuo je pantalone, skupio noge poda se. I nijedan se nije vratio meni, starcu. Pitam ja svakoga: Je li po pravdi da se ljudi ubijaju? Evo vam zemlje, rekoh, zasejte je mrtvima i bogaljima!
Mnogo mrtvih imam ja, sinak, toliko da ih ni pobrojati ne mogu. Eh, kapetanice, kapetanice Kockari narpegnuto zure u karte. Nizbrdo se i mrtav kotrlja. Siro- Refuz mrtvak 71 tica bez igde ikoga, crna crnjojka. Gladna je Tofija, gladna, gladna. Raste mali Mugdo, umorna je Tofija. Tofija luta po selima. Samo munje sevaju, sevaju.
Vise poslednje rite Tofijine haljine. Boji se Tofija seljanki koje sa pragova prete pesnicama: Vuku se dani jedan za drugim kao umorni Tofijini koraci.
Dobro je disati, pa makar te bolelo sve od glave do pete. Umorna je Tofija i slaba. Gleda Tofija, gluvonema i zalutala: Gleda Kalavrda, mutavko i kopilan: Pada krupan i gust sneg. I muvu bi u letu i zmiju u oko! Nema ribe danaske! I svakom bar po drugi metak pride! Otkupljujem sve bez razlike! Prvo pare, narode, pa onda rabota. Jok, narode! Ne zezaj, velim ja, neg reci de su pare. I nek se ponovi! I dvama i trima i mnogo puta na mnogaja ljeta!
Kragujevac 1 septembar Nemoj dragi slatki mili cakani rekla sam ja ali je Tanasije hteo a posle sam i ja htela s drugima. Pripazi na moje kanarince. Ljubi te sin Istok u oba obraza od 12 marta iz Lapova. Molite se za mene. Seli smo na jutarnji voz u 9 i 35 i doputovali ovamo nekako u podne. I svoju bolest i svoj strah rekao je Slavuj i pljunuo krv. Ostao mi je u nasledstvo od brata rekla sam ja.
Pitala sam. Ne znamo nikog sem muka svojih odgovarali su svi bilmezi. On mora da je samac a za samcima ostaju tragovi rekla si ti kad smo se poljubile na kapiji. Tada Slavuj i ja zamalo da zakasnimo na voz u 9 i Tek posle tri nedelje mrljavi Slavuj smogao je snage da ustane od gripe sa bacanjem krvi. Sve sam pitala za Istoka. Kosu je svakog jutra mazao briljantinom i brijao se dvaput dnevno zbog kosmatosti. Imam brata Istoka koga nigde nema zaplakah ja. Ko zna. Ovakvi kao Slavuj ipak ne umiru bez sekire.
Tvoj sekret 5. Predamnom je stalno bila senka Istokova. Pristala sam jer se bojim sumnje i kajanja. Svuda je zadisalo na karbol i strah.
Istok ne postoji. Slavuj je govorio kako Istoka ima samo kad ga nema. U stvari, gotovo ih je istreznio. Ipak, bilo je kasno da se vrate u sigurnost i toplotu kafanskog dima. Sve sami levaci. Retko kad i neka mastiljara. Ima li zaista fljaskara? Ne vodim vas valjda na partijski sastanak!? Sami varamo. Nekoliko meseci dopisivali su se sa dvema sestrama iz Valjeva, koje su sakupljale razglednice i ljubavna pisma.
Bio je potpuno pijan. Zagrejani Kalanci na to su se uskikotali i uzmuvali laktovima u slabine. Posle neuspelog bekstva iz doma i hvatanja u Trsteniku izgledalo je da se smirio. Ponekad, kada je bio dobre volje, hvali- Refuz mrtvak sao se kako pravi posao zubarima i kako jednim udarcem izbija bar tri zuba u gornjoj i dva u donjoj vilici. Rade ko singerice.
Al pudljive su do zla boga, radi cajkana. Odgovarate za njega. Nema glava da te zaboli. Oprezno je zevao nadole i nagore. Znao je da su u ovo doba uvek orni da nekog zalutalog pi- Refuz mrtvak janca privedu u stanicu na putu za groblje. Mastiljavom olovkom zapisao je na zidu: Bili su gladni i podrigivali su. Ponavljao je bezbroj puta u sebi pokrete, dodire, uvijanja, drmusanja.
Murat kratko opsova sunce krvavo. Jedino je hrkanje tu i tamo pokazivalo da ima nekog unutra. Pretpostavljalo se da je silovana i udavljena ili obratno. To ih namah razveseli. Grla su im bila suva kao ujutro posle pijanke i mamurnog sna. Zastali su i okupili se oko njega. Preko bezubih usta spajali su mu se nos i brada. Govorilo se da je nekada bio kaplar u kraljevoj vojsci, ali se propio i propao. Stoga je slobodno spavala sa svima redom. Govorio je da su i katolici i pravoslavci sluge repatoga i da se treba moliti bogu koji prebiva u biljkama, zverima i deci.
Dugo se posle po kafanama hvalisao kako njemu treba bar sekira da bi skiknuo. Prorokovao je lakovernijim staricama sa groblja i ubezeknutim seljankama sa pijace. Uvijao se celim telom i lagano klizio niz banderu. Stajao je pored Mulje i gledao prema sijalici. Svetlost namah utrnu. Jesam dilea. Jesam laponac, brale! Spremi se! Sutradan su ih sve potrpali u kamion i odvezli u prazno krilo nove kasarne.
Osudili su ih na vremenske kazne od sedam do pedeset dana. Ruse su joj kose, ruse su joj kose, ruse su joj kose. Za one na drugom mestu kako vam se zalomi.
Gosti smo. Primajte nas na veselinku, kaldusi! Na njemu je sve drhtalo: Netremice su piljile u nove goste i osmehivale se krajevima debelih i namazanih usana. Bila mu je vrlo blizu, gotovo na dohvatu ruke. Bila je to Papana, vlasnica i gazdarica Pampur-bara. Seljaci su joj ponekad davali krompir, kupus i paradajz, i zatim je vodili pod most.
Nakupci paradajza doneli su glas da su dvojica najstarijih sinova skapali od grudobolje negde na Kosovu i da im se ne zna grob. Dafto bule bar! Nije ovo alajbegova slama. Ispod Muratovog lakta Mulja se namah uzruja, usplahiri.
Opet mu je sve izmicalo, brzo i neumitno, kao dugonogi drugari u pijanim trkama po ulicama. Prezirao se, mrzeo, pljuvao. Jednom su ga uskikotani Kalanci silom okupali u mutnoj Lepenici. Bio je siguran u sebe, nadmen i drzak. Desnom Refuz mrtvak je nemarno gladio svoju sjajnu i namazanu kosu.
Tu smo — i nema izlaska pre onog. Nismo mi zagoreli. Je li tako, lepojke? Kod mama-Papane uvek je prima roba. I dok je gramofon, zaboravljen od svih, neumorno ponavljao: Zbog radi raznolikos, ako se kom svidi.
Natenane su odbijali dimove i polako pljuckali kroz zube. I samo nisko nebo izgledalo mu je kao poderana i debela opna nad gradom. Po duguljastom licu razlivala mu se modrina kao da se lagano smrzava. Niste mu vi stric iz Amerike. Ni posumnjao nikad nisam. Svaki je svoj dan imao. Zar je malo kurvarnica po zemlji Srbiji? Bolju nego one dve olinjale drombulje.
Oni drugi kokaju nas u mozak.